You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
