I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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