Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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