That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
