i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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