....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
