So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
