I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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