I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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