They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
