I think I died a long time ago.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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