also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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