Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
