All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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