Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
