I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
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