She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize