You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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