Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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