how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
