Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I party with great urgency now.
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