I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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