My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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