We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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