if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize