I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
one might say we're banned from that church
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
