Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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