My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
