all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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