Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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