how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
