called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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