My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize