I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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