At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
