So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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