Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
