It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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