Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
