guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Farmville is her only friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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