i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
