I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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