Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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