i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
