I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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