wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She announced her abortion via fbk
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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