Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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