Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
tell me about the fingering
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