Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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