why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
