I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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