Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
