i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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