honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
