Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
